Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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