just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
