i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
