I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So much rum. So many feels.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
