OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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