At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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