someone owes me an orgasm
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
