Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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