I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
