Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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