yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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