It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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