Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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