where am i from again
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
