Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
