I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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