but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
