i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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