yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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