so explain again why im purple
no
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Bring me that man meat
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
