either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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