When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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