you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
