ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
