All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
3 2 1 whiskey
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
