New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
