So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So squirting runs in the family.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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