Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
