I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
