The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
