Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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