Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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