he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
