I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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