How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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