This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
