The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
