i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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