so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
