I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
