I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
