So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
