We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
please don't ironically join a cult
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