oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
