i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
