Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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