he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
