he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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