help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
why is half of my head shaved?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
