If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just high enough for therapy.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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