You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
