its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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