I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
