either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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