I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
