She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
