I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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