I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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