I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
