Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
