worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
