Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
