Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
