this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
