used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
