You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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