i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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