It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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