sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He did a backflip because drugs
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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