Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
