Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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