I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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