Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There r osticjed everywhere
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
