please come you make the beer taste better
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
