He passed out mid-signature
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
