Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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